Crying Over Asparagus

Yes, you heard it right. CRYING over asparagus. :) My five and a half year old CRIED tonight because I ate the last stalk of asparagus. Horus roasted it in the toaster oven with butter and sea salt for dinner tonight. It was sooooooo yummy.

As I was shoving the LAST STALK into my mouth, my 5.5 year old FREAKED OUT. I sat there with an un-chewed piece of asparagus crammed in my mouth wondering what to do. I decided it was way too gross to regurgitate it, so I chewed and swallowed it.

SHE STARTED CRYING!!!!!!!!!!! I'm totally serious! I just about fell on the floor, I felt so bad! At the same time, I was just swelling with pride that she liked the asparagus that much. I had always thought she ate it because I told her it was yummy and healthy. I didn't realize she actually LIKED IT that much! :)

Anyway, lesson learned. BUY two bunches of asparagus next time. :) That was the only way I could stop her quivering lip was to promise I'd buy an extra bunch tomorrow.

I know I've been MIA lately, but things have just been crazy here. Thank you for the wonderful emails you've sent! I've greatly appreciated them. I'll be posting a new blog later this week - stay tuned because I WANT YOUR THOUGHTS! :)

Being a Parent: Update

This is an update to my earlier post on Being a Parent. And I've really got a good update too! :)

My little sweetie has been working SO HARD for the past two weeks on improving her behavior. The magnets have been a huge success and every morning she picks out a new one. The first week, she had four fantastic days, but permanently lost her magnet the other three. This past week, she's kept all seven (lost it, but re-earned it a few times)! As extra incentive, my mom promised her a REAL PEDICURE if she made it the whole week. :)

So here's the photo my mom snapped of her earlier today getting her pedicure (sitting in a spa massage chair) at a little nail salon nearby. She used her cell phone so the quality isn't so great, but it's really cute. My mom said she intently watched EVERYTHING the woman did - filing, lotion, massage, painting, etc. She picked out purple polish and then they painted two little white flowers with rhinestones on her big toes.



The German immersion program starts back up Tuesday so hopefully her behavior continues to improve. I emailed with the owner (really small school) and she said she will totally support my magnet reward program and keep me updated each time when I pick her up.

Being a Parent

I think one of the hardest things about being a parent is the fear of failure. My mom said the most brilliant thing to me the other day: "No one holds their tiny newborn in their arms and says, 'I can't wait to screw up your life.'" :) Most parents want to raise their children to be loving, caring, confident and happy adults. It's the raising part that's tough! :)

As a homeschooling mom, I believe children "should" be socialized by their parents. Most specifically, ME because I'm with them the majority of the time. The rest of their socialization comes from their dad, close family, close friends, daily outings to the store with me, swimming lessons and their German school (which they adore). I have more people say to me, "Well that's great they're in German school so they can get socialization skills." And I think that's absolutely backwards. I just politely agree and change the subject. :) I enrolled them for the language experience. I didn't do it to socialize them. I mean seriously, look at much of our youth today and ask yourself if that's really how you want your child socialized. Children can very easily be socialized to get along with people of ALL AGES. Does this mean I think all schooled kids are unsocialized? Nope... *wink* I just think parents can do it better.

For lack of a better way to put it, I'm hoping to raise two little mini-me's. :) They'll develop their own personalities and their own goals, but I want them to have my gigantic teethy smile. I want them to have my mannerisms and my humble (although opinionated) nature. I want them to be green republicans! :) I want them to have their dad's love for swimming, his 6th sense for things and his money management skills. I want them to grow up very frugal in a world that constantly wants MORE, no matter how much money they have. I want them to grow up knowing all about nutrition and living natural, healthy, Christian lives. Even non-homeschooled children can be like this if they spend ENOUGH time with their parents... to override the socialization they receive in school. Sadly for many, it's hard to find time like that after athletics, lessons, tv, friend's houses, etc. I want the girls with ME as much as possible.

But parenting is hard and it's even harder when others doubt your parenting skills. A few months back, the German school told me my oldest (she's four - turning five soon) was hitting, pushing and shoving and taking things from others (bullying) at school. I was mortified to learn it had been happening for months and this was the first time they'd mentioned it. We've been working on it like crazy since (printed rules was huge) and I really thought things were getting a lot better. She still bullies her younger sister (three years old) some, but it's gotten so much better... So I'd thought. I just found out that she's been bullying another child for a while... and get this... It's the first I'm hearing of it. JUST PERFECT I can't do anything about it if I don't know it's happening. Because it certainly doesn't happen in front of me! If it did, it would be dealt with. German school starts back up in a few weeks and I thought this problem was getting better!? *sigh* To top that off, I'm also getting my first big dose of disrespectful back-talk from BOTH GIRLS. Wow, has that thrown me for a loop. EEEK!

Needless to say, I have a lot of work to do.

Most people who REALLY know me, know I'm pretty strict. I come down quite hard on the girls (in a loving and respectful way) and I try to be rigidly consistent. But I try to stay positive as much as possible. Love the book The Power of a Positive Mom.

Sadly, I guess I "appear" wimpy since I remain calm. I absolutely refuse to discipline, chastise or yell at the girls in public. I just won't humiliate them like that. I wouldn't do that to any other person (adult or child) on the planet so I can't imagine why children don't deserve the same dignified respect. I semi-calmly remove them from the area and deal with it PRIVATELY. Even at family's houses, we go into another room. In stores or restaurants, we go to the car if it's necessary. ANYWHERE - I remove them from the situation first. I don't spank so most of the time they get time-outs and/or lose privileges for major offenses. If it's not a major offense, I just discuss it with them. This doesn't mean I don't get mad or upset - I do... But all of this is handled privately. I'm not going to stand there beating my chest like an ape, humiliating my child for everyone else's visual gratification. But I guess this comes across as weak parenting. *sigh* In the words of a good friend (she's in Heaven now)...

W H A T E V E R ! :)

I know I'm doing a good job so that's all that matters. :)

Today we've starting a new reward system to help combat the bullying. We bought a bunch of really cute magnets and are using them on our dry-erase calendar for good days. I will always give her the benefit of the doubt so she gets a magnet on the current day, first thing in the morning - start the day off positive. But throughout the day, she can lose and re-earn it with her actions. If she earns her magnets for the whole week (Sunday through Saturday), she gets $1. She's about to begin 1st grade math (homeschool) so she does understand money a bit and is THRILLED about it. I'm still working out how to divvy out the money because having ONE bad day would throw the whole thing off... Maybe the week will be worth $1 but each day without a magnet deducts from that... ??? I'll figure it out. :) I'm just glad she is THRILLED over the idea.

Now don't anyone read too much into my mention of spanking. I was spanked as a child and I'm FINE. :) I'm not scarred for life and actually think I turned out quite well, as did my siblings. I don't have any philosophical problems with spanking either. If you choose to do so, then I'm glad it works for you! I just personally can't do it. I've definitely thought about it, but can't bring myself to actually hit either of the girls. So consistent time-outs, privilege-loss and "talking" works for me. :) Everyone parents in their own way and I fully respect the way OTHERS choose to do that. For those of us who don't say, " I can't wait to screw up your life."... our kids will turn out wonderful! No matter how we choose to discipline and parent our babies! :)

Why I hate Cheerios - even the organic versions...

Or any other dry, mass-market cereal product out there.

Over the past few years since my little ones were born, I've been criticized (sometimes openly, sometimes silent eye rolls) for not feeding them Cheerios. Especially as babies since "every mother" gives their babies Cheerios as a first finger food, right? Well, every mother except me. Yes, I know. I'm a bit of a freak. :)

*sigh*

WARNING: My next paragraph may be very offensive because every parent tries to do their best and how we nourish our children is a touchy subject. Even I have fed my little ones cereal on occasion because it's easy (no one is perfect and I don't pretend to be), but I do try to avoid cereal just like I do candy and refined foods (aka, junk foods). You have been forewarned. This is MY OPINION and this is MY BLOG. *wink*

My original reason, before knowing much about nutrition, was the simple fact that they're empty calories. It's a sad way to amuse and distract a small child while adults do something else. It also acts as a babysitter when the child gets fussy. The bad part is, it fills them up with empty calories and then they don't eat as much at mealtime. Why not just teach the baby patience and to wait for dinner? Because that's harder to do. It's easier to slap down a hanfull of empty calories that will easily keep a 9-month-old baby happy for at least ten minutes.

Ok, enough of my opinion... moving on. The main reason why I avoid buying cereals is because nutritionally, they're toxic. It is well known that diets of puffed grain cause rapid death in test animals. Animals fed only the cardboard box that the creal came in lived longer than those fed the cereal. EEEK! So it's not just malnutrition, they're actually TOXIC.

Below are some excerpts from various authors that explain why. Enjoy!

Whole grains are very important, but there is an important way to eat them. Phosphorus is tied up in the whole grain in a substance called phytic acid. Phytic acid combines with iron, calcium, magnesium, copper and zinc in the intestinal tract, blocking their absorption. Whole grains also naturally contain enzyme inhibitors, making digestion difficult. Soaking and sprouting grains neutralizes phytates and enzyme inhibitors.

Whole grains that have been processed by high heat and pressure (extrusion process) to produce puffed-wheat, oats and rice (typical cold cereals - organic or not) are actually quite toxic and have caused rapid death in test animals. Rice cakes are absolutely horrid. Breakfast cereals have been slurried and extruded at high temperatures and pressures to make little flakes and shapes should also be avoided. Most, if not all, nutrients are destroyed during processing, and they are very difficult to digest. Studies show that these "extruded" whole grain preparations (rice cakes, typical cereals, granola) can have even more adverse effects on the blood sugar than refined sugar and white flour! The process leaves phytic acid intact but destroys phytase, a natural enzyme that breaks down some of the phytic acid in the digestive tract. It also causes fragile oils to become rancid and renders certain proteins toxic.

-Sally Fallon - Nourishing Traditions

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As for the process of making cereals which are shaped like little O's, crowns, moons and the like... The machine used for making shaped cereals, called an extruder, is a huge pump with a die at one end... The slurry (of grains) goes into the extruder, is heated to a very high temperature and pushed through the die at high pressure. A spinning blade slices off each littel crown or elephant, which is carried on a stream of hot air past nozzles which spray a coating of oil and/or sugar on each piece to seal off the cereal from the ravages of milk and give it crunch. This extrusion process destroys much of the nutrient content of the ingredients, even the artificial chemical vitamins (enriched). The amino acid lysine, a crucial nutrient, is especially ravaged by extrusion. Yet the only changes made in the dozens of variables in the extrusion process are those which will cut costs... regardless of how these changes will alter the nutritive value of the product.

-Paul Sitt - Fighting the Food Giants

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Since World War II, the food industry has gone a long way toward ensuring that their customers (just about all of America's children, as well as a good proportion of the adults) do not have to chew breakfast. The bleached, gassed, and colored remnants of the life-giving grains are roasted, toasted, frosted with sugar, embalmed with chemical preservatives, and stuffed into a box much larger than its contents. Fantastic amounts of energy are wasted by sales and advertising departments to sell these half-empty boxes of dead food - money back coupons, whistles and toy guna re needed to induce refined women to lift these half-empty boxes off the supermarket shelves.

-William Dufty - Sugar Blues